14 Comments
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Lisa Marie Lawler's avatar

Relate to this so much. As an introvert, I am not a fan of any chat groups on any given day 😊

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Brenda - A Voice that Wonders's avatar

Me too.

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Genna Nelson's avatar

Highly relatable! When cracking a funny in a group chat with close family only to drown in the sound of very loud crickets followed by a sharp topic change makes me think of the Dr Evil scene.....riiiiggghhht! Last year I reached out to a group of peers I respect to ask if they might read in advance my chapter in a book I was collaborating in that was about to be published. Giant frikin crickets! It still haunts me to this day...I don't understand how you can be the recipient of an email from a person you know professionally who is basically asking for your help and support with something they feel extremely nervous about and NOT REPLY! I'm in two whatsapp groups professionally and I have now finally muted them because it was triggering my FONKE - fear of not knowing enough! If I need to know the answer to something I'll go search in there when I need it. Facebook community groups....don't get me started. No Mary I don't know who took your wheelie bin or what that loud bang was last night or what time Tesco's is open until on a Sunday.

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Imogen Hall's avatar

Omg your story about the chapter!!! Yes I totally agree with you, there is no way in hell that I wouldn't reply to something like that. No way. Even if I didn't have the time I'd just say something to reassure them at least, so it's not awkward?

Ooooh FONKE I haven't heard of but I wow does it resonate now you've mentioned it. I actually have a group chat that's freelance opps but all it is is jobs going out that are what I am absolutely NOT qualified in. So I'm just sat there like ... does anyone want what I can actually do lol?

FB community groups I will never, ever join. Never. Not in a million trillion years.

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Genna Nelson's avatar

I made up FONKE 😂 but kinda like it’s vibe now.

I’ve truly had my eyes opened in recent years with communication and expectations. How I’d respond isn’t how I often receive others and my expectations about that have gutted me at times. No more expectations from me now 💪🏻

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Marquita Herald's avatar

As an extreme Introvert I relate to SO much of what you say here. Some of my reasons are different, but the result is the same. Disclaimer, I have not participated in group chats here. My experience comes from group chats on Twitter. I was a featured guest author for two group chats and while I managed to get through them, I swore never again! Good for you for protecting your energy!

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Alys Hedd 🦂's avatar

I'm totally with you - I hate group chats. I'm thankfully only in two at the moment, one with my parents and sister, which is mostly unused and not muted. The other is with all the mothers from my son's class at school - a hellish one! Definitely muted at all times, and mostly I lurk and just take note of anything I might have missed from school announcements. If I ever say anything, I get ridiculous anxiety about it - but then standing at the school gates is pretty much the same 🤦🏼‍♀️

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Imogen Hall's avatar

Ooohh I have heard about the kid's parents ones. The thought of it gives me great stress, and I'm not close to having to join anything like that right now. I imagine that's even worse, because the announcements you might need?! What about a good old-fashioned email, can they not do that?

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Alys Hedd 🦂's avatar

The school sends all notifications out on an app called Class Dojo, but they're easy to miss - you have to be vigilant 🤣 the mums WhatsApp chat is just an unofficial group chat, where you might catch the things you missed. It would be really weird not to join the group, but it's not fun.

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Georgie Stedman's avatar

Highly understandable to mute group chats … not us being in group chats together though 😂🥰love you and your honesty 💕

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Alyssa Proulx | Therapist's avatar

Thank you for breaking this feeling down! It really helped me understand one of my friends who has felt similarly but can’t quite find the words for it. I appreciate you!

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Goddess Becoming's avatar

I love people. I absolutely loathe a group chat. I have a couple (like the one here) that I engage in, but even my bff knows to just text me separately with a date/time/dress code if the girls are all getting together. I just cannot.

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Georgina Lucy Howard's avatar

Incredibly relatable! All groups muted is my rule too. Absolutely essential. The school what’s app has been a new thing to get my head around, what a learning curve 😅

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Brenda - A Voice that Wonders's avatar

We have a family group chat… I am invisible. But I still communicate, still put emojis. In some ways I endure but there are times when I want to say hellooooo, I am here.

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