Let's change the paradigm, one woman at the time. Let's make society understand that it is not what they expect from us all the time, but also what we feel that we can give back to society at a given moment of our lives. This is not a task for the weak who surrender at societal expectations. It is for the strong who know how to love a husband, a career, and a family at the same time. I did it, and I am still paying the price, but alive and kicking, resilient. Will you?
Wonderful read. I also find it difficult to respond to those at work who expect my ambitions to expire with motherhood in a few years. Why should I be planning two career steps ahead...
Hey Emily! Thanks so much for your comment and your praise for this, it means a lot! That's a great word to use 'expire', sums up the exact feeling doesn't it!
Omg you are SO right - I loved reading this so much. As you said with my post, it’s literally like how I would write too! It’s like you just took words out of my brain and made it flow onto the page. You made sooo many good and important points, the more women write about this stuff the more things might change for us.. might. Amazing. So relatable. So real. Instant subscribe for you my darling🤍
How have I only just seen this! Notifications confuse me on here haha. Thank you for your lovely comment though! So glad it resonates, often I write and then panic that it actually is only me… so happy it isn’t!
Hey I am a young mum and I have left my well-paid fancy corporate job into the unknown and I completely feel you! I have always been ambitious in life and career, and ever since I had a baby it's like part of me disappeared. I am not mourning but there are TONS to consider before becoming one. AND being a woman is not just about motherhood, I am making life pivots and learning new skills, such as building my own substack as well. So congratulations for staying true to yourself, that's very much needed these days!
Thank you for your comment and sharing your journey with it! ☺️ that’s a great way to phrase it as well ‘being a woman is not just about motherhood’. I totally agree. I’m so glad you’re building your Substack as well 😄
Imogen! Thank you for sharing this. I’m a mum, it’s hard. I love my son more than I can begin to describe. But it’s hard. There’s no ‘village’, there’s no support. Go on your holiday. Stay on the wonderful journey you are on!! You will know when you are ready for a baby, and the baby will be so glad you waited! Ugh I loved this read 💜💜
I have quite a few friends who just got engaged or married and always the question about when the baby is coming follow. Most of them aren't ready for a baby yet.
My grandpa's partner got it right, she told me way back that she never asks people the "when's the baby coming question" because either people don't have a baby because they don't want one or they have no baby despite wanting one and trying. Either way the question never sparks good emotions.
Your grandpa’s partner is so wise. I didn’t even think of it like that but she’s right — and I guess the don’t want one can be an ‘ever’ or a ‘not right now’ but either way, what’s the point in asking!
The home is lovely thank you ☺️ amazing to have space, as we moved from a flat! Loads of work to do on it but I’m kind of excited!
So glad you posted this! Striking a balance between career, ambition and parenthood is deeply personal and I’m glad that you’ve stood firm in following your vision. Follow your gut and leave yourself open to any gentle whispers that may open you up to other possibilities—but just be affirmed that the choice you’ve arrived at is the right one for you.
I’m writing about very similar themes on my page. Actually have an essay going up tomorrow about how I’m leaving my career at the end of the month to full time parent. I’m pretty nervous to make the leap. But in my case I feel that the change will free me up to pursue creative endeavors while being more fully present for my little one. My own spin on the “choosing me” option!
Thank you SO much for your lovely comment and offering your perspective. I was a bit nervous to post, just as I’m so hyper conscious that we all have our own paths.
That sounds like an amazing “choosing me” option right there. I can imagine it’s both incredibly exciting (all that time with your little one!) and very very daunting. Good for you for taking that step ☺️
Thanks again for sharing! I look forward to reading your essay!
Thanks so much, Imogene! Posted today and excited to have put it out there. Would love to get your thoughts if you have a few minutes—I truly love what you’re doing on your page!
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this, Anesha! I’m glad you’re staying by strong to your thoughts around it as well.. though not so glad about the family and friends responses 🙄
Let's change the paradigm, one woman at the time. Let's make society understand that it is not what they expect from us all the time, but also what we feel that we can give back to society at a given moment of our lives. This is not a task for the weak who surrender at societal expectations. It is for the strong who know how to love a husband, a career, and a family at the same time. I did it, and I am still paying the price, but alive and kicking, resilient. Will you?
Brilliant comment, Maria. Totally agree. Thank you 😊
Wonderful read. I also find it difficult to respond to those at work who expect my ambitions to expire with motherhood in a few years. Why should I be planning two career steps ahead...
Hey Emily! Thanks so much for your comment and your praise for this, it means a lot! That's a great word to use 'expire', sums up the exact feeling doesn't it!
Omg you are SO right - I loved reading this so much. As you said with my post, it’s literally like how I would write too! It’s like you just took words out of my brain and made it flow onto the page. You made sooo many good and important points, the more women write about this stuff the more things might change for us.. might. Amazing. So relatable. So real. Instant subscribe for you my darling🤍
How have I only just seen this! Notifications confuse me on here haha. Thank you for your lovely comment though! So glad it resonates, often I write and then panic that it actually is only me… so happy it isn’t!
Hey I am a young mum and I have left my well-paid fancy corporate job into the unknown and I completely feel you! I have always been ambitious in life and career, and ever since I had a baby it's like part of me disappeared. I am not mourning but there are TONS to consider before becoming one. AND being a woman is not just about motherhood, I am making life pivots and learning new skills, such as building my own substack as well. So congratulations for staying true to yourself, that's very much needed these days!
Thank you for your comment and sharing your journey with it! ☺️ that’s a great way to phrase it as well ‘being a woman is not just about motherhood’. I totally agree. I’m so glad you’re building your Substack as well 😄
Love this, I'm a mom and my priority was always to have children early on it life but I know that's not for everyone.
I respect anyone who wants to take their time and find themselves before having children because once kids arrive they are here to stay.
You see so many people trying to find themselves after they have children and then the children become second priority.
Love what you are doing and glad you are sharing so you can inspire others ❤️
Imogen! Thank you for sharing this. I’m a mum, it’s hard. I love my son more than I can begin to describe. But it’s hard. There’s no ‘village’, there’s no support. Go on your holiday. Stay on the wonderful journey you are on!! You will know when you are ready for a baby, and the baby will be so glad you waited! Ugh I loved this read 💜💜
Thanks for your comment Veronica ☺️
Happy for you choosing yourself for now!💛
Also how are you liking your new home?🌿
I have quite a few friends who just got engaged or married and always the question about when the baby is coming follow. Most of them aren't ready for a baby yet.
My grandpa's partner got it right, she told me way back that she never asks people the "when's the baby coming question" because either people don't have a baby because they don't want one or they have no baby despite wanting one and trying. Either way the question never sparks good emotions.
Your grandpa’s partner is so wise. I didn’t even think of it like that but she’s right — and I guess the don’t want one can be an ‘ever’ or a ‘not right now’ but either way, what’s the point in asking!
The home is lovely thank you ☺️ amazing to have space, as we moved from a flat! Loads of work to do on it but I’m kind of excited!
So glad you posted this! Striking a balance between career, ambition and parenthood is deeply personal and I’m glad that you’ve stood firm in following your vision. Follow your gut and leave yourself open to any gentle whispers that may open you up to other possibilities—but just be affirmed that the choice you’ve arrived at is the right one for you.
I’m writing about very similar themes on my page. Actually have an essay going up tomorrow about how I’m leaving my career at the end of the month to full time parent. I’m pretty nervous to make the leap. But in my case I feel that the change will free me up to pursue creative endeavors while being more fully present for my little one. My own spin on the “choosing me” option!
Thank you SO much for your lovely comment and offering your perspective. I was a bit nervous to post, just as I’m so hyper conscious that we all have our own paths.
That sounds like an amazing “choosing me” option right there. I can imagine it’s both incredibly exciting (all that time with your little one!) and very very daunting. Good for you for taking that step ☺️
Thanks again for sharing! I look forward to reading your essay!
Thanks so much, Imogene! Posted today and excited to have put it out there. Would love to get your thoughts if you have a few minutes—I truly love what you’re doing on your page!
https://open.substack.com/pub/leesolus/p/what-if-im-not-cut-out-for-this?r=2ykvzw&utm_medium=ios
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this, Anesha! I’m glad you’re staying by strong to your thoughts around it as well.. though not so glad about the family and friends responses 🙄