Yes I 100% advocate for the adult gap year… in the space and silence, it’s easier to get clarity on what you truly want, heal, and realign… we are often too busy to get clear on our path, and we stay busy for the sake of busy, like rowing with only one oar ❤️
Well the why is... hustle culture, a society that ties value to productivity and output, cPTSD that makes the nervous system unable to rest, ADHD and soooo many more things :)
Imogen, love this post and the conversation you’re hosting us in. I think one of the poisons (too strong a word? not strong enough lol?) of a culture that sets Doing as the highest priority, is that it makes Not-doing seem crazy. As if 6th gear is the only good option, when 2nd gear is exactly what we need to make a sharp turn well. Granted there is a lot of discomfort in not-doing, and not-knowing. But these between-chapters of life hold the other known chapters together in the end…just to get a good trail mix of metaphors in there!
Maybe the floundering for explanation and description … is about having your identity pulled out from under you. Meaning the things you attached to yourself in your previous career as identity. When they disappear, we go through transition, and even if we think we know who we are, there’s still this gaping hole where the previous attachment held space for identity.
And then there’s just transition itself. I always think of it as a trapeze. I let go at the last one and I’m so uncomfortable flying through the air waiting to grab onto the next bar. But that bar always shows up.
I love the honesty in your writing, Imogen! I think you're vocalising a lot of people's journeys on here. Those leaving the world of work behind, either through choice or necessity. It's terrifying, but liberating at the same time.
I'm so glad I've found your Substack, and I can't wait to catch up with your existing posts and see what you post next!
Thanks Amy 😁 I can’t believe how much it’s been relevant to other people to be honest. But it’s also why I felt the need to write in the first place - because I didn’t know where to find stuff like this for myself!
YOU'RE RIGHT!! Haha I thought this as I posted it. But then I figured, if I go into the depths of how my lack of a plan is actually a plan because what really is a plan... the essay would've been double the length, and it's already long!!
Wow. Just, wow. There’s so much here. You’ve got an excellent attitude toward the situation in which you find yourself. The idea of fearing not being perfect really resonated with me today, not sure why and I should probably explore that. Congratulations on sticking to your writing goal — that is a HUGE accomplishment.
Thanks, Eileen. I don't have this attitude all the time but I think writing helps me to have it and to articulate it, even when I feel like I'm going backwards!
I've learnt that there are things we do in life, things that truly align with who we are or who we want to be, that trigger concerns or indifference in our friends and family. They either cannot see somethings worth or they worry for a less secure or traditional path. If you persevere despite this, with no certainty where it will take you, then you're on the right path. It may be a tool to get you through a hard time or it may be a new calling. Whatever it is, it's meant to be.
They'll get on board eventually and if they don't, you'll find new people who value your work more than you can imagine!
Thank you for expanding on this point, Jessica! Honestly that's what I find hard but also already see a lot of growth in. It's a kind of funny position because you can be so sure in your own values and path, but it'll always make things harder when not everyone can see it, or understand it. Perseverance is soooo important, you're so right!
I was between jobs earlier this year too....I can relate. I thought maybe I wasn't cut out for a 9-5 office job, even dreamed that maybe this was my big chance to focus on art & writing as a career - my true dream job. I had a lot of healing to do and anxiety to recover from, courtesy of my previous job.
I hope you continue to give yourself the time and space to explore what feels right to you. I'm so happy to hear that you feel like YOU.
I'm back in an office job (accounting) and it's honestly a relief after my brief foray into healthcare. It might not be exactly what I want to do, but it's low stress and I have enough of myself left over to incorporate creativity into my life again. In my 4 months in the medial office, I had nothing left for anything.
I really resonate with this post (and have written similar ones myself). I graduated with a psychology degree a few years ago and the job market has severely declined since. I went into burnout and had to take my own career break to figure out what I wanted to do and how to reach it in a healthy manner.
I still feel like a failure and have a lot of self-doubt about my future. I want to be an editor and an author (so publishing jobs), but it's been hard. Even starting freelancing has been rough. I know what it's like to feel this way and I expect to struggle for several more years at this rate.
But I'm glad I'm not alone. That there are others who have struggled to get a job. And I'm glad we're still trying our best.
Thanks for sharing, Steph :) Yep the struggle is real, and I think I thought it might go away but I'm realising it won't.. it's just about dealing with it the best we can, sticking to what we want, and keeping going! The job world is tough.
Maybe that’s why the jobs weren’t landing. Or at least, partly.”
I’ve had this exact thought! I’ve thought about how maybe I don’t want a job, so that’s what I’m putting out in the universe, and the universe is delivering that.
Imi, the more I read your writing, the more I feel seen. I knew that surely there were people on a similar journey to mine, and I’m so glad I found you here. Hang in there! (she says to herself as much as she says to you)
So glad you saw yourself in this. If there's one thing I know well then it's a feeling that you're in your own little bubble and you don't know why people around you aren't in the same position, or feeling the same way. So I know how much it helps having people who are!
This is a good period in your life, don't jump into any jobs you're not 100% convinced by. Better to take your time and figure out what you really want than just take something because you feel you need money and should be earning. I'm navigating something very similar, kind of want to just dedicate all my time and attention to my writing and building stuff for people, that's my goal. But working in marketing as well and finding clients!
Thanks Stefano! Ah the marketing and finding clients is tricky isn’t it. Because we just wanna write, but ultimately, to make money you need clients. Of course.
Well, good luck to both of us!! We’ll do it, but it might just take time!
Yes I 100% advocate for the adult gap year… in the space and silence, it’s easier to get clarity on what you truly want, heal, and realign… we are often too busy to get clear on our path, and we stay busy for the sake of busy, like rowing with only one oar ❤️
I agree, busy for the sake of being busy. It’s something I feel like we weirdly train ourselves to do but why! Thanks for your comment 😊
Well the why is... hustle culture, a society that ties value to productivity and output, cPTSD that makes the nervous system unable to rest, ADHD and soooo many more things :)
Imogen, love this post and the conversation you’re hosting us in. I think one of the poisons (too strong a word? not strong enough lol?) of a culture that sets Doing as the highest priority, is that it makes Not-doing seem crazy. As if 6th gear is the only good option, when 2nd gear is exactly what we need to make a sharp turn well. Granted there is a lot of discomfort in not-doing, and not-knowing. But these between-chapters of life hold the other known chapters together in the end…just to get a good trail mix of metaphors in there!
Maybe the floundering for explanation and description … is about having your identity pulled out from under you. Meaning the things you attached to yourself in your previous career as identity. When they disappear, we go through transition, and even if we think we know who we are, there’s still this gaping hole where the previous attachment held space for identity.
And then there’s just transition itself. I always think of it as a trapeze. I let go at the last one and I’m so uncomfortable flying through the air waiting to grab onto the next bar. But that bar always shows up.
💕
I love the honesty in your writing, Imogen! I think you're vocalising a lot of people's journeys on here. Those leaving the world of work behind, either through choice or necessity. It's terrifying, but liberating at the same time.
I'm so glad I've found your Substack, and I can't wait to catch up with your existing posts and see what you post next!
Thanks Amy 😁 I can’t believe how much it’s been relevant to other people to be honest. But it’s also why I felt the need to write in the first place - because I didn’t know where to find stuff like this for myself!
Such a good point!
YES, YOU DO HAVE A PLAN!
You showed up. You got started on Substack.
You’ve come back. You’ve kept going!
YOU'RE RIGHT!! Haha I thought this as I posted it. But then I figured, if I go into the depths of how my lack of a plan is actually a plan because what really is a plan... the essay would've been double the length, and it's already long!!
Wow. Just, wow. There’s so much here. You’ve got an excellent attitude toward the situation in which you find yourself. The idea of fearing not being perfect really resonated with me today, not sure why and I should probably explore that. Congratulations on sticking to your writing goal — that is a HUGE accomplishment.
Thanks, Eileen. I don't have this attitude all the time but I think writing helps me to have it and to articulate it, even when I feel like I'm going backwards!
This has really reassured me about my path.
I've learnt that there are things we do in life, things that truly align with who we are or who we want to be, that trigger concerns or indifference in our friends and family. They either cannot see somethings worth or they worry for a less secure or traditional path. If you persevere despite this, with no certainty where it will take you, then you're on the right path. It may be a tool to get you through a hard time or it may be a new calling. Whatever it is, it's meant to be.
They'll get on board eventually and if they don't, you'll find new people who value your work more than you can imagine!
X
Thank you for expanding on this point, Jessica! Honestly that's what I find hard but also already see a lot of growth in. It's a kind of funny position because you can be so sure in your own values and path, but it'll always make things harder when not everyone can see it, or understand it. Perseverance is soooo important, you're so right!
I was between jobs earlier this year too....I can relate. I thought maybe I wasn't cut out for a 9-5 office job, even dreamed that maybe this was my big chance to focus on art & writing as a career - my true dream job. I had a lot of healing to do and anxiety to recover from, courtesy of my previous job.
I hope you continue to give yourself the time and space to explore what feels right to you. I'm so happy to hear that you feel like YOU.
Good luck! ❤️
Ah that sounds just like me!! What did you end up doing? Did you go back to a 9-5 office job, or go your own way?
I'm back in an office job (accounting) and it's honestly a relief after my brief foray into healthcare. It might not be exactly what I want to do, but it's low stress and I have enough of myself left over to incorporate creativity into my life again. In my 4 months in the medial office, I had nothing left for anything.
I really resonate with this post (and have written similar ones myself). I graduated with a psychology degree a few years ago and the job market has severely declined since. I went into burnout and had to take my own career break to figure out what I wanted to do and how to reach it in a healthy manner.
I still feel like a failure and have a lot of self-doubt about my future. I want to be an editor and an author (so publishing jobs), but it's been hard. Even starting freelancing has been rough. I know what it's like to feel this way and I expect to struggle for several more years at this rate.
But I'm glad I'm not alone. That there are others who have struggled to get a job. And I'm glad we're still trying our best.
Thanks for sharing, Steph :) Yep the struggle is real, and I think I thought it might go away but I'm realising it won't.. it's just about dealing with it the best we can, sticking to what we want, and keeping going! The job world is tough.
“Maybe I didn’t want that path anymore.
Maybe that’s why the jobs weren’t landing. Or at least, partly.”
I’ve had this exact thought! I’ve thought about how maybe I don’t want a job, so that’s what I’m putting out in the universe, and the universe is delivering that.
Imi, the more I read your writing, the more I feel seen. I knew that surely there were people on a similar journey to mine, and I’m so glad I found you here. Hang in there! (she says to herself as much as she says to you)
So glad you saw yourself in this. If there's one thing I know well then it's a feeling that you're in your own little bubble and you don't know why people around you aren't in the same position, or feeling the same way. So I know how much it helps having people who are!
We've got this :)
This is a good period in your life, don't jump into any jobs you're not 100% convinced by. Better to take your time and figure out what you really want than just take something because you feel you need money and should be earning. I'm navigating something very similar, kind of want to just dedicate all my time and attention to my writing and building stuff for people, that's my goal. But working in marketing as well and finding clients!
Thanks Stefano! Ah the marketing and finding clients is tricky isn’t it. Because we just wanna write, but ultimately, to make money you need clients. Of course.
Well, good luck to both of us!! We’ll do it, but it might just take time!
Ye, it takes time! But I think it’s possible to balance both, or go all in on one, what do you think?